Double Standards?
If it is a woman, is it fair that a she be equally competent and find the patience/energy/time to hold hands? Isnt this double standard? Definitely.

If it had been a man instead of Jia, would he have been fired? Probably not as he would have been perceived as tired! There is a difference in expectation and perception of men and women.

If a mans tone is high, he would be considered sure of himself and has done the research. If a woman uses a high tone, she would be perceived as curt, bossy, irritated or arrogant. If a man is married, there is a perception he deserves a raise as he has settled down and is willing to shoulder more responsibility. If a woman gets married, then she is not to be trusted with more important projects, as she is likely to be distracted!

However, men in tech support services also have a downsidemost of them lose their health. Pranav is highly regarded in his organization even though he does the same job as Jia. He is polite and works long hours. In his three years job, he has developed ulcer, high BP and cholesterol. Karna lost his hairline and is obese in the two years he has been doing his job. He wasnt fired like Jia but he collapsed on the job, and had to be rushed to the hospital.

So, it is more like double sides for men and women in tech support services.

Closing the Gap
If you find you have to constantly assure managers with an MBA that what happened to them could have happened to anyone, and that their question is not stupid even if it really is, remember you are officially a computer therapist. Not only are you expected to be competent, but expected to do a lot of reassuring and handholding. Hide your impatience and always have a smile for everyone. Not all of us are cut out to be therapists and despite meditation, exercise, and breaks, if you find your job too stressful or find your personal life and health going down the drain, you are probably not fit for support services. Get out of it before it is too late and pursue some other field in technology.

So how do we close the communication gap? Communication is the same way as a movie. The only problem is that we all have different communication filters as we are raised in different environments and cultures. When my cousin asks me, "Do you want to catch a movie?" it sounds to me that if I say no, it is the stupidest thing I can possibly say. This is because I have my childhood filter on, when friends would always say yes and if one says no, then we had to have a good reason why we cant come to the movie. My cousins communication filter is being polite and that she wants to go to the movie. She thinks Ill be upset if she goes alone without asking. Our communication gap can be closed if the question uses a choice. "Im going to this movie. Would you like to come or are you busy?" This way I can say "yes" or "no" without offending her or feeling stupid.

It is actually ridiculous when one starts to analyse it, but it does make a difference especially when one is talking to people from different cultures. Some will give it to you straight while others will beat around the bush. So learn to recognize filters and expectations of the client and the boss. Also, always phrase your questions and answers, so that you provide a choice to the other person in their response.

Oh, and never ever sigh!

Deepa Kandaswamy
The author is the founder-moderator of the IndianWISE e-group
maildqindia@cybermedia.co.in
The views expressed here are personal
Deepa Kandaswamy.
First Indian Serial Rights, CyberMedia 2007. 
Any quotes from this article must link to this article and credit both author Deepa Kandaswamy and Dataquest.
This article may not be distributed in any manner without written consent from the author.

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