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These days, most techies are getting bolder and starting their own business.
This is a good thing. However, if you are born or get married into a business
family, joining the family business would seem like the logical choice. You
dont have to attend lengthy job interviews, never fear being fired, can set
your own work time and never worry about fitting in. Everything is handed to you
on a platter and all you have to do is work when you feel like it, right? Wrong.
Anita got married immediately after completing her bachelors degree in
Computer Science. Her husbands family ran a BPO company from Bangalore. She
joined the family business and worked earnestly. After five years, she quit as
she says, Initially, it was frustrating as I could never surprise my husband
with a gift. Ive a three year old daughter but even if I wish to buy something
for her, Ive to ask for money from my in-laws. In addition, I felt selfish and
guilty to take a separate vacation with my husband and daughter as his parents
were working while we were spending the money. It would have been much easier if
each of us were given a regular salary.
While Anita finally summoned the guts to quit the family business, here are
some things for women techies to consider before joining the family business.
Things to Consider
- Take Risks: The problem with joining the family business is that unlike
your entrepreneurial parents or grandparents or spouses, you dont have to
take risks as the business is relatively stable and you only have to manage.
At the end of your life, you will regret having been too caught up in managing
things that you never took risks. Risks are different for everyone. A wall for
one is a small dent for another. Find something that scares you and do it with
your own money and time. It should be something you did and it scared the hell
out of you despite warnings. Make it your own failure or success. It could be
something as simple as buying a new piece of equipment. Be honest and do it on
your own. If you consult the board, you arent taking a risk. Remember that.
It doesnt always have to be a business risk. If bungee jumping scares you, go
bungee jumping. The exercise in risk taking will help you overcome fear and
increase your confidence level.
- Get a Job: Do not let your first job be a position in your family
business. Job-hunting is appalling but the experience is also humbling and
educational. Working for someone outside your family will help you learn how
to effectively interact with others who arent family. This experience will
also help you assess your strengths and weaknesses. However, dont work for
someone who is friends/business colleagues with your family. This wont help
you grow but instead stunt your growth. The experience of an interview,
workplace where you are just another head, answering and asking your boss who
is not necessarily friendly or family gives you a look at the world as it is
and not through the expensive sunglasses of your family. This will prove
invaluable.
The 3 Rules to Follow
- Pay Yourself First: Many people assume joining the family business is easy
and you dont need anything. Sudha did too until she realised she wasnt
getting any salary. Sudha says, I worked as a marketing executive before I
got married. I took over the marketing division of my husbands family
business. I felt embarrassed about asking my in-laws for a salary as we all
slogged it out at the office and all our expenses were paid. However, I soon
realised I could never surprise him as I had to tell his parents every time
why I needed the money. After my daughter was born, I became even more
miserable as I couldnt buy anything for her though I worked as hard as anyone
else did. Luckily, my in-laws understood when I quit the job to work for
another company. So before joining the family business, negotiate a monthly
salary. Career counsellor Sarika Ray agrees. She says, Most people who join
their family business fail to ask for a regular salary out of respect for
their parents or in-laws or spouses. This is a huge mistake. Ask for a
reasonable income but pay yourself first. As an adult, you would feel more
valued as a member of the family, if you were paid a monthly or even a
quarterly salary.
- Establish your Identity: Establishing ones identity free from the family
business is a tough one. This is because a business is like a baby and there
are no holidays from it. Abha, whose parents run a famous pastry chain says,
As children, my brother and I never went on summer vacations like our
classmates did. Even if the employees went on leave, my parents would run the
stores and expect us to work during holidays. If we refused, they would say we
are ungrateful and we would be bundled off to our grandparents. Our parents
never took time off. Growing up, I never got to know my parents as the only
time we spent with them was at the shop. I never joined because I felt I would
lose my identity like my parents. Abha and her brother didnt join the family
business. Abha became a techie while her brother became a doctor. If you plan
on joining the family business, set clear rules for time away from it like I
wont work weekends or I will take two weeks off in May and go to X.
- Dont be Taken for Granted: If you are joining the family business, expect
to be taken for granted and make them unlearn the habit. Joining the family
business is very much like being a homemaker. You are there but everyone
elses work will take precedence over yours. This can be extremely
frustrating. If you complain, the stock reply would be, You are going to
inherit it and this is your money. So what are you complaining about? Do the
work and dont expect us to keep praising you.
If you dont lay down ground rules at the beginning, there is no point in
complaining about this sort of treatment. Instead, at the very beginning let
your family know you expect a raise or a promotion like you would get in the
corporate world, if you meet a particular target or land more contracts than
usual. Tell them you dont appreciate being taken for granted just because you
are a member of the family. Similarly, tell them they are free to point out
mistakes you make in business.
Dont join your family business as a fresh graduate right out of college.
Take time to establish yourself independently from your family, at least for a
while, so you can see yourself more clearly. Learn what is important to you and
learn to create a life that matters to you. Whether you join the family
business, work for someone else, or start a business on your own, you will be a
happier person for making the decision, consciously and honestly. It is easy to
join your family business but tough to survive it without feeling regret and
bitterness toward your family later on in life. Look before you leap.
Deepa Kandaswamy
The author is the founder-moderator of the
IndianWISE e-group
maildqindia@cybermedia.co.in
The author is the founder-moderator of the IndianWISE e-group.
(c) Deepa Kandaswamy. First serial rights, CyberMedia 2008.
Any quotes or reprints from this article must link to this article and
credit author Deepa Kandaswamy and Dataquest.
This article may not be distributed in any manner without written consent
from the author.
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